On November 16, 1897, Paul Laurence Dunbar sent a brief telegram to his fiancée Alice Ruth Moore in Brooklyn, urging her to meet him at the New York City apartment of their mutual friend Sallie Brown.
The Western Union Telegraph Company
Received at 369 Fulton Street, Brooklyn, N. Y.
Nov 16, 1897
To Miss Alice Ruth Moore
33 Poplar StCome to Sallie's
Am sick
PaulPaul Laurence Dunbar to Alice Ruth Moore, November 16, 1897. Paul Laurence Dunbar Papers, Ohio History Connection (Microfilm edition, Roll 8).
It was raining that night but Alice went to Sallie's apartment, where she and Paul had a sexual encounter that resulted in injury to Alice. Paul then returned to his home in Washington, D. C. Paul and Alice typically wrote to each other daily, but there was silence between them for a few days. Then Paul wrote two letters to Alice in the same day.
My feelings this morning have been a strange admixture of remorse and exultation. I know that I have done wrong, very wrong. My course has been weak and brutal. I have dishonored you and I cannot forgive myself for it. I have no plea to make, no excuse. I can only say that I cannot be happy again until you are my wife. Dear, while I feel myself a scoundrel, do you know that I feel infinitely nearer to you? I worship you and nothing can come between us. Will write you again soon. My heart bleeds for what I have done. Forgive, my darling, and love me.
Paul Laurence Dunbar to Alice Ruth Moore, November 19, 1897. Paul Laurence Dunbar Papers, Ohio History Connection (Microfilm edition, Roll 5).
Paul's first letter was written at about noon while he was at work at the Library of Congress. In his second letter, Paul admitted that alcohol had influenced his behavior.
I have been very greatly depressed since my return from New York. I have grieved for my escapades while there. Only God knows how I have suffered in the last two days, how I am suffering and, too, how I deserve to suffer. A maudlin, reeling drunken libertine, have dared to lift my eyes to you. I want you in my arms again when I am sober and can embellish my words of love with the natural punctuation of kisses. I have tried to compromise with love and share her dominion with liquor. From now on, there must be no compromise. Love must rule and rule alone. When I feel like taking a drink, I will sit down and write to you first, and maybe the thought of the best little woman in the world will make me strong.
Paul Laurence Dunbar to Alice Ruth Moore, November 19, 1897. Paul Laurence Dunbar Papers, Ohio History Connection (Microfilm edition, Roll 5).
Over the next several weeks, Paul continued to send letters full of apologies and self-recrimination. He assured Alice that she was not pregnant, but hinted that he had gonorrhea.
Do you mean to say that I in my bestial lust have so hurt and injured you -- my God -- my God. If I could only go back over those days from Saturday to Saturday and blot them out of my life. But you will be better, dear. God will not let you suffer long for this sin of which I was the sole author. Whether you get well or whether you are invalid for life, you are mine and I shall always love you and take care of you. I will never drink again, so help me God! For God's sake rally and get well. Spare no expense. It will be my right to pay your bills. One thing, dear, be easy about, you are not with child. I was too drunk for flow. I will give you a whole life of devotion to wipe out that one night's madness. God help you, and bless you and raise you up strong again, my little wife to be.
Paul Laurence Dunbar to Alice Ruth Moore, November 22, 1897. Paul Laurence Dunbar Papers, Ohio History Connection (Microfilm edition, Roll 5).
I am sick at heart with the hopelessness of my position. I have been criminally careless and a brute besides. If I were brave enough or coward enough I would do the only honorable thing a man can do in such a case, but while I am not afraid to die, I am afraid to take my own life. Dear little woman, how I pity you, lying there bandaged and bruised and sore. When you get up and think it all over, you will hate me. Very well, let me suffer all that I deserve. I have already sent you the ring. Keep it whether you marry me or not. Try sometimes to think kindly of me. Send me your bills. I am numb with the dead ache of remorse.
Paul Laurence Dunbar to Alice Ruth Moore, November 26, 1897. Paul Laurence Dunbar Papers, Ohio History Connection (Microfilm edition, Roll 5).
I was afraid that you had thrown me over for good and I was very miserable. But now I am happy because you are better and still want to marry me. I didn't know about the G---- until last week and then I began treatment at once. I have suffered, but am getting along all right now. I enclose ten dollars dear and hope that it will help you some on your druggist's bill. Would send more, but it would be missed. Do not wish mother to know where it is going.
Paul Laurence Dunbar to Alice Ruth Moore, December 7, 1897. Paul Laurence Dunbar Papers, Ohio History Connection (Microfilm edition, Roll 8).
As the months passed, a long-distance reconciliation took place between Paul and Alice. They continued to live in separate cities and plan their marriage by mail. Several weeks before they were married, Alice referred to the incident and expressed a positive attitude about the experience.
My long suffering of those last two months, dear, was a veritable Godsend. My love came out of it like a Phoenix from the flames, strengthened, purified, beautified. Tempestuous passion, mad desire impatient for pleasures have gone and I am as a wife to you now, true-hearted, constant, a little more prudent, ambitious for you and desirous that we both get and maintain the proper position before the eyes of the world.
Alice Ruth Moore to Paul Laurence Dunbar, January 15, 1898. Paul Laurence Dunbar Papers, Ohio History Connection (Microfilm edition, Roll 8).
After the Dunbars were married, Alice continued to teach in Brooklyn, not wanting to leave her school before the end of the academic year. Paul was impatient and insisted that she quit her job and move to Washington to live with him. Angry at his inflexibility, Alice again brought up their sexual encounter in Sallie's apartment, revealing that she submitted to Paul willingly but regretted it later.
I wonder now that I had not sense to see the real depth of your love. It was on the 16th of November that I went to you in the storm -- do you remember at Sallie's? When I put my arms about you on the sofa, I thought, "Perhaps if I sacrifice to him, it will be a restraint on him; he will believe in me." God is my witness I had but the one idea. Well, it failed, but even for all the misery I brought on myself by such false reasoning -- I never would have consented to, much less urged, a marriage with you had I even dreamed for a moment that your love was not deep enough, broad enough to see as I see, to cover trivial inconveniences and petty displeasures for your wife's sake. Oh Paul, have you sacrificed so much for me? I am so deeply hurt -- something in me seems to choke and turn the tears to gall. Am I to be hurt thus all my life with you? I couldn't stand it. Better, far better, that we simply part -- have the act which you consider so unfortunate, annulled without further publicity. I am willing. It would break my heart -- but I have work to lose it in, here. Better to break it away from you than to drown it in the bitterness of your reproaches with you. My God, you have hurt me so, Paul. Heaven forgive me, I can't help it.
Alice Ruth Moore to Paul Laurence Dunbar, March 23, 1898. Paul Laurence Dunbar Papers, Ohio History Connection (Microfilm edition, Roll 8).