On March 29, 1898, Alice Moore Dunbar in Brooklyn wrote a bewildered letter to her husband Paul Laurence Dunbar in Washington, D. C. A few weeks earlier, they hastily got married in secret with no family members present. Alice expected her mother Patricia and sister Leila to be angry, and was surprised to receive kind words from them in the mail.
Don't you know I'm vexed now. Here I had built up a great romance. Obdurate, hard-hearted mother, stern but loving and inconsolable sister, brother-in-law flourishing a gun -- when here tonight's mail deluges me with paternal and sisternal blessings. Without a word of warning mama climbs down from her heights and writes me thusly.
"I am not angry at all about your marriage. I am heartily glad of it -- only I would have liked to have given you away. I have worried all the time about you being away from me working half-sick and no one to take care of you. Now you will have a home of your own as you had in New Orleans." Further on --
"My good wishes for both of my children. May God bless both of you. Best love to my dear boy. Tell him I am proud to have such a son. God will bless him if he takes care of you."
Well!
Sister quoth,
"My letter to you did not contain a single word against Mr. Dunbar as I do not make it a practice to say things about any member of my family, especially when one is loved by the other as you love him."
Further.
"Stop crying and worrying and write to your husband and me."
Etc. etc.
Now there goes my romance, all into thin air; and there isn't a thing to do but settle down to loving you harder than a mule can trot.
Alice Moore Dunbar to Paul Laurence Dunbar, March 29, 1898. Paul Laurence Dunbar Papers, Ohio History Connection (Microfilm edition, Roll 8).
Patricia Moore's blessing was unexpected because a few months earlier she seemed displeased when Paul wrote to her about his intention to marry Alice.
You have surprised me quite a lot, as I thought you and my daughter were friends -- nothing more. I scarcely know what to say to you about this important matter. You are a perfect stranger to us. I do not know anything of you. I trust you will pardon me speaking frank; but in such a case it is necessary. My daughter is young and for her to take such a serious step and perhaps regret it and be unhappy the remainder of life would be dreadful. I think both should think over these things again and more seriously. The step you are so anxious to take now is something quite new for her. At all events, wait and think. I hope you will not feel badly over my words.
Patricia Wright Moore to Paul Laurence Dunbar, November 3, 1897. Paul Laurence Dunbar Papers, Ohio History Connection (Microfilm edition, Roll 5).
Paul was discouraged by Patricia's response. He forwarded the letter to Alice in Brooklyn, and at the bottom he sketched a diagram of the house he had rented for them to share.
Talk about being blue -- well blue is no name for it. Not even your letter of last night availed to dispel the gloom, for it was accompanied by the enclosed missive from your mother. What shall we do darling? Is our dream to be wrecked entire? I was so proud of the house I had rented. I had grown so hopeful and happy when I got it, for it seemed to bring the culmination of our love nearer. Then came the frost. Will you not write to me at once and give me some encouragement? The line of your mother's letter is not wholly discouraging but my sun has been so bright that now any cloud must look particularly dark. Let us pray that in the meantime your mother will relent and give us her blessing and consent.
Paul Laurence Dunbar to Alice Ruth Moore, November 7, 1897. Paul Laurence Dunbar Papers, Ohio History Connection (Microfilm edition, Roll 5).
Soon afterward, when Alice visited her family for the holidays, she learned that the actual author of the letter was not her mother, but her sister Leila.
Sister and I had a long talk about you this morning. She is perfectly willing and says she'll give me a pretty wedding when I want. Mama isn't so reconciled, but sister rules the roost, you know. I forgot to tell you that sister wrote you that letter, not mama.
Alice Ruth Moore to Paul Laurence Dunbar, December 31, 1897. Paul Laurence Dunbar Papers, Ohio History Connection (Microfilm edition, Roll 8).