On March 2, 1898, Paul Laurence Dunbar in Washington, D. C., wrote an apologetic letter to his fiancée Alice Ruth Moore in Brooklyn, confessing to some indiscretions with another woman. This was the last letter that Paul wrote to Alice before they were married.
Darling, I am a thoughtless scoundrel! When I was in New York, as I told you, I met an old flame of mine. Well, while all was innocent between us, I gave her a lot of taffy and she has taken it all in and been telling people about it. And now, darling, what I am almost ashamed to make a clean breast of. She is an expert needlewoman and when mother refused to let her dress go out of the house to be made, I wrote this woman offering to pay her expenses and reasonable wages to come down for two weeks, make the dress and finish up the rest of mother's sewing. This letter she has misrepresented and boasted of. I don't care anything about it only on your account. And I am miserable. Whatever you should hear, darling, of the relations between Maud Shannon and myself, believe me that though I have flirted with her and been in some compromising situations with her, I have never done an illicit act or uttered an impure word to her. I have been greatly at fault in not being true to you in word as well as deed. Can you forgive me? I am so miserable. I am so weak. I am so contemptible.
Paul Laurence Dunbar to Alice Ruth Moore, March 2, 1898. Paul Laurence Dunbar Papers, Ohio History Connection (Microfilm edition, Roll 8).
Alice had long been worried about Paul's faithfulness and she feared losing him to another woman. She replied to Paul's letter with an urgent telegram summoning him to New York City, where they were hurriedly married in a civil ceremony on March 6. They kept their marriage a secret and continued to live in separate cities. Following his return to Washington, Paul's first letter to Alice as his wife was full of bitterness.
The enormity of what we have done has just begun to dawn upon me. I feel now and then a flash of resentment at the whole business. It does not look well on cool reflection. You telegraph me, "Come at once. Make no delay. Matter of Life and Death." I come through five hours of mental anguish that was hell to me -- and find you at the Gymnasium from which you come in as lightly as if I had not risked position and everything for your whim. I did not intend to write this, but as I view the matter calmly and outside the intoxicating influence of your presence, my bitterness grows. We have disappointed everyone. Many looked forward to our marriage with pleasure, and it should have been an event. Instead, we sneaked away and married like a pair of criminals. Had you cared very deeply for me, you would not have placed me in such a position. I wish you would have trusted me and waited a while longer. You should have seen that my fatal letter was meant to reassure you.
Paul Laurence Dunbar to Alice Moore Dunbar, March 9, 1898. Paul Laurence Dunbar Papers, Ohio History Connection (Microfilm edition, Roll 8).
In Alice's first letter to Paul as her husband, she tried to assure him that their sudden marriage was for the best.
I went to bed last night with this prayer on my lips and in my heart. "Dear God, grant that he will always love me and not be unkind to me." My husband -- I can hardly realize that I have the indisputable right to call you that. I love you, but it is tempered with a fear that you must be angry, disgusted with me. Are you? I thought I was doing what was best for us, for you. Perhaps time will show that I was right.
Alice Moore Dunbar to Paul Laurence Dunbar, March 13, 1898. Paul Laurence Dunbar Papers, Ohio History Connection (Microfilm edition, Roll 8).
After several days of reflection, Paul agreed that Alice was right to have hastened their marriage.
My sweet wife, I have just got to write you a line because I love you so and want to tell you that I do. I have been sitting downstairs dreaming of you until I almost came to believe that you were here. I said to myself as I came upstairs tonight, "And I am married to her -- thank God!" Were you right? Yes, more than right. You were a seer who not only saw the dangers of the future, but provided a way to avert them. Alice, be assured of my earnest and eternal love and loyalty.
Paul Laurence Dunbar to Alice Moore Dunbar, March 18, 1898. Paul Laurence Dunbar Papers, Ohio History Connection (Microfilm edition, Roll 8).