My stock has gone down and my tailor has sent
To request that I settle my bill;
My landlady asks with a frown for her rent,
And there isn't a cent in the till.
The governor storms and my mother's in tears;
There's a coldness betwixt me and Nell,
But I'm utterly dead to regrets and to fears,
For my meerschaum is coloring well.
At first I had fears of what looked like a crack,
And my breath came in gasps of alarm,
But oh, how the joy of my heart flooded back
When I found that 'twas nothing to harm.
And so ever since I have nursed it with care,
With thrills that my heart cannot quell,
And I've bored all my friends to relate the affair
That my meerschaum is coloring well.